His Ever After (Love Square) Read online

  All Is Fair In Love and War…

  By

  Jessica Ingro

  Published by Jessica Ingro

  Copyright © 2013 Jessica Ingro

  HIS EVER AFTER

  Copyright © 2013 Jessica Ingro

  Cover design © Arijana Karčić, Cover It! Designs

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  Kindle Edition, License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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  Dedication

  To my husband, Dave. You’re my own ever after.

  Table Of Contents

  His Ever After Playlist

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  Excerpt from Rock My Heart by Selene Chardou

  Excerpt from Kitchen Promises by Brooke Cumberland

  About the Author

  His Ever After Playlist

  The Dreaming Tree – Dave Matthews Band

  If Time Is All I Have – James Blunt

  Simple Man – Lynyrd Skynyrd

  Goodbye In Her Eyes – Zac Brown Band

  Love Somebody – Maroon 5

  Black – Pearl Jam

  Best Of You – Foo Fighters

  Gimme Back My Bullets – Lynyrd Skynyrd

  Obsession – Animotion

  Evil Woman – Electric Light Orchestra

  Everything Has Changed – Taylor Swift (feat. Ed Sheeran)

  Just A Fool – Christina Aguilera (feat. Blake Shelton)

  White Horse – Taylor Swift

  I’m Alive – Kenny Chesney (feat. Dave Matthews)

  Come On Get Higher – Matt Nathanson

  Demons – Imagine Dragons

  Ready For Love – Bad Company

  All I Want Is You – Miguel (feat. J. Cole)

  Gone, Gone, Gone – Phillip Phillips

  Faster – Matt Nathanson

  Sirens – Pearl Jam

  Mirrors – Justin Timberlake

  Blue Sky – The Allman Brothers

  Feel Again – OneRepublic

  Stay – Rihanna (feat. Mikky Ekko)

  Cry with You – Hunter Hayes

  Sure Thing – Miguel

  Wanted – Hunter Hayes

  Just Breathe – Pearl Jam

  Chapter One

  The room is dark except for the faint light being cast by the lamp in the corner. It is pathetic that my life has come to this. I have no clue how it got so out of control. Some might say I’m a pussy, hiding in my own home, but I’ve found it’s easier to avoid conflict rather than provoke it. Besides, putting myself through this torture is far easier when I’m alone and when no one is aware of the extent of my soul crushing loss.

  A year ago, I had the world in the palm of my hands. The one woman I saw myself growing old with was sitting across the table from me in a pub in Pennsylvania. She was more beautiful than I remembered – if that was possible. And when she smiled at me, I felt like the only man in the room. Now, here I am, wallowing in self-pity while she’s playing house with her husband. She’s probably painting the mother fucking nursery right about now. I feel my hands clenching into tight fists at the very thought.

  I can picture her, clear as day, with her hair pulled back in a messy knot that always looked so adorable on her, wearing her signature yoga pants and glowing as she smiles at something that son of a bitch said. It should be me that she’s smiling at. It should be me who gets to wrap his arms around her and my hands lovingly caressing my child that’s growing in her belly.

  Unfortunately, it’s not me doing all those things, and it’s all because I’m a dumb fuck who thought with his dick and screwed up the best damn thing to ever happen to me. When Brooke came into my life, she was so sweet and loving. She reminded me so much of Sam that I thought with her, I had a chance to have it all. I never thought Sam would have left Aiden for me. I waited so damn long to hear her say those words. Too bad the timing of them was complete shit.

  Time. All I needed was some time before Sam and I could be together. I didn’t realize the night I pushed Sam away and asked for more time, it would be the last real chance I got to be with her. If I knew then what I know now, things wouldn’t have gotten so out of control. Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

  I pound back the last of my bourbon, listening to the ice clink against the glass and echo into the silence.

  These days I crave the silence. This is the time when I can sit alone and remember. The time when I can close my eyes and smell her, feel her warm, soft skin and hear her magical laugh. I can pretend we’re lying on the couch together, wrapped up tightly while watching a game. Or that we are snuggled in bed after a bout of really hot, mind-blowing sex. It’s also the time when I can read her words and surround myself in the warmth of the time we spent together. My memories are all I have of her now.

  I’ve read her book at least a half dozen times. I love reading about how much she loved me. And I love sitting back and remembering our time together. It’s always wild to hear our story being told from her point of view. It’s also validating to know that she felt our connection as well and was as crazy about me as I was about her.

  What I don’t like hearing is how lost she was after I hurt her. How my betrayal aided her downward spiral to what she calls her rock bottom. I could kick my own ass for hurting her so badly. If only I could tell her that our “love square” wasn’t actually a square at all. If only I could tell her that I love her with an intensity that is destroying me inside.

  I had my chance at happily ever after, though. I held a precious, beautiful butterfly in my hands, but let it get away. I could never do what every fiber of my being is begging me to do. I could never tell her how I feel and potentially cause her more heartache. They say if you love someone enough, you need to set them free. And I love Sam enough to step back and let her build the life she deserves with Aiden. That isn’t me being a good man… because I’m not. It’s me giving her the one thing I have to give.

  I flip the pages of the book until I come to one of my favorite parts of the story, when fate handed me the perfect chance to reconnect with my one true love.

  ***

  One year earlier…

  “I love my kids, but sometimes they’re a real pain in my ass,” my sister, Emma, says into the phone. Emma is a real spitfire. She lives her life with passion and has no idea what i
t means to keep her mouth shut. She’s just like our mother. She looks like her too, with her long black hair and the same green eyes as me. It’s almost like looking at pictures of my mom when she was younger. Every now and then, when I look at Emma, the pain of losing my mom so quickly when I was only nineteen seems to intensify. You’d think after all these years it wouldn’t hurt as much as it does.

  My mom did everything she could to make sure we had a good life that was full of love. She had such a spirit and an aura about her that drew people to her. Every weekend in the summer we would host a neighborhood or family barbecue, and she was always the perfect hostess, making you feel welcomed and ensuring you had a good time. I remember her laughter and smiles. Rarely was there a time she didn’t have them, even when she was sad or struggling.

  And above all else she was a rock for me to lean on. Even as a teenager I considered her one of my good friends. There was nothing I couldn’t talk to her about.

  So when she broke the news to us that she had stage three lung cancer, my world tilted. I don’t think it has ever fully righted itself either. The year I got to spend helping to take care of her is something I cherish. My dad, Emma and I really leaned on each other during those dark days. It’s one of the reasons why Emma and I are as close as we are. Living through that much pain, sorrow and grief, you learn to appreciate who and what you have. I’m a lucky man to have such a wonderful family. Not everyone can say that.

  “What did the two little angels do now?” I ask, referring to my nieces, Candace and Grace. They are little divas in the making. You have to be on your toes at all times with those two.

  “Surprisingly, they didn’t do anything this time. I’m just upset because my babysitter backed out and now I can’t go to a book signing that I was really looking forward to attending.” She clears her throat and I just know what is coming next. “You wouldn’t want to be a dear and watch your nieces for me, would you?”

  “Sorry, sis, but a book signing is not my idea of a worthy enough reason to drive four hours.” I really hate the drive to her house when I’m only going to be there a little while before I have to get back on the road and drive home again.

  “But the girls have been talking about you all week. They were so sad when you had to cancel your visit last weekend. You wouldn’t want to disappoint them again would you? You might make them cry and I know you wouldn’t want that to happen.” Emma’s voice is cajoling. I can’t believe she actually thinks she has a chance of pulling this off.

  “Nice try, but no. Sorry.” I laugh into the phone at her attempt to guilt me into submission.

  “Fine,” she sighs heavily. “I just thought it would be really cool to meet an author from our hometown.”

  “Really? Who’s that?” I’m intrigued by who this could be. I was unaware anyone from home was famous enough to warrant a book signing.

  “Her name is Samantha Monroe… Hey, wait! Didn’t you date someone by that name a long time ago? I knew her name sounded so damn familiar.”

  Emma’s words stopped making sense after I heard her name. My heart starts pounding, and I’m suddenly feeling anxious. Could it be the same girl? The one I let get away back when we were teenagers? It has to be. What are the chances that it is someone else?

  God, I would do anything to see her again. Just a glimpse of her gorgeous smile would make the drive to Emma’s worth it.

  “Hello? Jacob! Are you still there?” Emma calls out.

  “Yeah, I’m still here. When and where is this book signing?” I ask, trying not to show that I’m freaking out. But in all actuality, it feels like I have a leprechaun dancing a jig in my stomach.

  “It’s tomorrow at two o’clock at the Barnes & Noble in Scranton. Does this mean you’re going to help me?” Her voice is perkier now than it was. I feel bad for getting her hopes up, but she isn’t the one going tomorrow.

  I am.

  If this is the same girl who stole my heart, I need to be the one to see her. I just hope it isn’t too late to win her back.

  ***

  This damn drive is taking forever. The thought that in just a few short hours I might see the girl of my dreams has me on edge. I drum my fingers on the steering wheel and try to release some of my pent up energy. I can’t seem to stop myself from fidgeting.

  The only way Emma would agree to my plan was if I got her book signed for her and a promise that if things go well, she’ll get to meet Sam. And that was only after I told her that Sam was too damn important not to go see her myself. Telling Emma that juicy bit of information is causing her to salivate for more. She’s like a dog staring at a juicy bone. Limited information won’t be enough to keep her at bay. I know I’ll have to give her more and soon. I’m going to try to hold out as long as I can. I’m a grown man and the last thing I need is for my big sister to play matchmaker and meddle in my affairs.

  I wish Emma had made the connection between the author Sam Monroe and my Sam Monroe sooner. For as much as I’d love to, I can’t really fault her since they never met when we were younger. Emma was away in college at the time and all she knew was the few stories I told her. As a teenager, I wasn’t gung-ho on telling my older sister how gone I was for a girl. My mom knew though. She recognized it the second she saw me with Sam before Sam’s Junior Prom. When she asked me about my feelings afterward, I didn’t even try to hide it. I knew that information would be safe with her.

  I just pray that if this woman is my Sam, that she is still single. The thought of not being able to touch her or taste her again is almost unbearable. I’ve thought about her so many times over the years and wondered where she was or what she was doing. Now that I know I might get to see her again, I can’t get her out of my mind.

  I will myself to calm down and stop getting ahead of myself. I just need to get there and see her. The rest will work itself out. Fate can’t be so cruel as to bring her back into my life if I can’t have her. It’s the only option.

  I see the signs for Pittston, PA and breathe a sigh of relief. I’m that much closer now. I navigate through town and park in front of Emma and John’s, her husband, yellow craftsman style home. I fold out of the car and am instantly hit with the force of two little sumo wrestlers in the making.

  I love my nieces with my whole heart. It’s amazing how much kids can brighten your world. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for these girls.

  “Hey, rugrats! You been behaving or do I have to lock you up and throw away the key?” I wrap my arms around each of their shoulders and draw them to my side.

  “We’ve been really good, Uncle Jacob,” Grace says sweetly as she bats her big eyes and tries to look innocent. She’s already a master manipulator at the ripe old age of six. With her black hair and green eyes, she’s quite the looker. I fear for both John and myself when she gets older. We’ll be scaring away many a horny boy, I’m sure. I’m not averse to showing them my gun if need be.

  “Yeah, Uncle Jacob! You should give us a present for how good we’ve been,” Candace chimes in. As the older of the two, she is most certainly the ringleader and instigator of trouble. Candace looks more like John with her brown hair and brown eyes. She’s no less beautiful, but seems to be nearing that awkward stage kids go through while losing her childlike appearance.

  “A present, huh? You sure you’ve been good?” I tease them as I dig in my coat pocket for the candy bars I have stashed there.

  Both girls look at me with doe-eyed, innocent expressions on their faces. Their heads nod in unison. It takes a lot to hide the laugh I want to release, knowing they are probably driving Emma crazy and not being the angels they swear they are.

  “Maybe I should just go and ask your mother.” I bend down and scoop each one up under an arm, eliciting little girl giggles while I walk towards the house, bouncing them around.

  Stepping into the house, I’m met with coziness and the feeling of home. Emma really goes out of her way to make her house inviting. From the furniture, to the decorations, to the ever present s
mell of cookies. As I take it all in, I wonder if Sam would be the same way. My condo is empty and bland. I would like nothing more than to have her turn my house into a home. What would it be like to come home, after a long day at work, to food on the table and candles burning? Or maybe Sam would greet me at the door wearing nothing but a smile on her face…

  And there I go, getting ahead of myself again.

  I’m distracted from my thoughts when the girls start squirming to get down. I set them both on their feet, hand them their candy and go in search of my sister. I need to get this book from her and get the hell out of here. The sooner I get to Scranton, the sooner I can see Sam.

  “Hey, little brother! Sit down and have some coffee before you go,” Emma greets me as I enter the kitchen. Her hair is back in a bun with strands escaping all over, and she has flour on her cheeks and forehead. The apron she is wearing says, “One by one the squirrels steal my sanity.” Certainly, a fitting slogan for the way she looks right now.

  “No can do. I’m just here to grab your book like I promised. I need to get to Scranton,” I say after kissing her cheek.

  “Wow. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. You’re prepared to be over an hour early to this thing. You really like this girl, don’t you?” She has a gleam in her eye at the thought. She’s been trying to get me to settle down for years now. Emma and John are done having children, so she says it’s my turn now.

  I shrug and try to be evasive. “I told you, she’s special. Let’s just see what happens before you go picking out a bridesmaids dress, okay?” I kiss her cheek one last time, grab the book off the counter and head for the door.

  “I’ll be back tonight. Don’t wait up!” I call out before shutting the door.

  “If you think I won’t, you’re crazy! I’m going to want all the details!” Emma yells back.